


First Kiss

by centreoftheselights



Series: Dismantle The Gender Trinary [12]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: (speedrun), Agender Virgil Sanders, Alpha Roman Sanders, Beta Virgil Sanders, Board Games, Coming Out, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, Fluff, Gender Identity, Genderfluid Roman Sanders, Genderverse Firsts, Getting Together, M/M, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Nonbinary Character, Other, Pronoun Bracelet, gender questioning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 12:27:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22496086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/centreoftheselights/pseuds/centreoftheselights
Summary: Virgil reluctantly agrees to hang out with Roman. What they discover surprises them.
Relationships: LAMP - Relationship, Prinxiety
Series: Dismantle The Gender Trinary [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1335505
Comments: 30
Kudos: 315





	First Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> For newcomers: this is part of an extended series of LAMP fics set in my version of the omegaverse. Virgil is an agender beta (they/them) and Roman is an alpha.
> 
> Also: huge thanks to [@forrestwyrm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/forrestwyrm/pseuds/forrestwyrm), both for beta-ing this fic and also for _recreating Roman's bracelet in real life_ which is the coolest fricking thing!!! 💖💖💖

_It was going to be fine. Everything would be fine. Fine!_

Maybe if Virgil said it enough, they would start to believe it.

_Look_ , they told themselves for the thirty-eighth time that day. _Roman has been entirely tolerable every time you've seen him. You've been dating Patton for over a year,_ _and_ _Logan for_ _the last_ _three_ _months._ _Y_ _ou know they're both good judges of character and they_ _think Roman all but hung the moon_ _._ _Not to mention, y_ _ou've hung out at their place at least a dozen times and Roman has always been perfectly polite and well-behaved. If he was some kind of psycho, you'd know about it by now._

They pulled out their phone again, compulsively checking the text message.

“Can I meet up with you sometime? There's something I want to talk about.” From Roman. Followed by the damning evidence of Virgil's reply: an invitation to meet them after their shift, i.e. in about ten minutes.

Because they were the world's biggest idiot.

_No, I'm not an idiot, because it's going to be **fine**._

Their anxiety was running rampant, of course. Virgil had spent the better part of a decade making sure they were never alone one-on-one with an alpha. But… what, exactly, was Roman going to do? Pushing aside the usual “he's a secret serial killer” wild imaginings, the worst Virgil could think of was – well…

Roman _could_ ask them out.

Patton had been true to his word thus far, and Roman and Logan had given Virgil complete space until they'd decided to ask Logan if he was interested in being more than friends.

But dating two people in the same pack? That was risky. That was asking for trouble. And now, Roman would have gotten ideas, and Virgil would have to tell him “no,” and there was nothing alphas hated more than rejection…

_Which is why we're meeting in a public place in broad daylight. What's he going to do, yell? I can handle yelling. I can handle a lot worse than yelling._

But if Pat and L took his side, if he spun things so that Virgil was the villain of the piece…

_I'd like to see him try. Those two wouldn't let anyone tell them what to think, not even their mate._

Virgil ran through a breathing exercise a few more times, until their heart rate was steady and calm once more. They could handle this.

Everything would be fine.

Elliott knocked on the door. “Vee, some alpha is here asking to see you?”

Virgil's pulse quickened a little, but they steeled themselves.

“Yeah, it's fine,” they answered. “He's a friend.”

They made their way out of the back office where they'd been hiding. Roman was waiting in the front of the store, flipping through the impulse purchase keychains on the counter. When he saw Virgil, he smiled broadly, almost knocking the keychain rack over as he waved broadly.

Had he always been so big? Oh fuck, it was too late to back out now.

“See you Tuesday,” Virgil said to Elliott. Then: “Hey, Princey.”

“Greetings, All Time Loner!”

In spite of themselves, Virgil cracked a bit of a smile at that as they made their way outside.

“Ah, I thought you'd like that one. So, where are we walking?”

“There's a park a couple of streets over, I figured we could grab a bench,” Virgil suggested, lightly. “Y'know. Fresh air, daylight, all that good stuff.”

“Yes, yes, of course…” Suddenly, Roman seemed distracted, and he trailed off into silence.

Virgil didn't know Roman all that well, but they had spent some amount of time with him. And today he seemed… off. His enthusiasm was normally fairly consistent – lower-energy some days than others, thank fuck, but today Roman's energy levels seemed up and down all over the place.

_Unpredictable._ _That_ _'s a great sign_ , Virgil thought sarcastically.

They filled the walk to the park with all the usual “how's your work?” small talk, but it was clear that Roman had something on his mind – which of course, was making Virgil's anxiety twitchy. It was a relief when they parked themselves on a park bench – frigid cold, this time of year, but mercifully dry – and finally managed to get the words out:

“So. You wanted to talk about something?”

“Yes! Yes.” Roman cast around, clearly unsure where to start, and Virgil braced themselves. “I wanted to speak to you – and I know, we are not particularly close, but I hope you would count me as a friend, perhaps, or at least an acquaintance – and let me know if this is out of line –”

Virgil chuckled, and elbowed him gently. “You planning on finding that point sometime?”

Roman smiled apologetically.

“As you can tell, I'm not… entirely sure how to broach the subject. Except for privately, of course, and I do hope you'll respect –”

“I won't tell Patton or Logan about this, whatever it is,” Virgil said quickly. “Unless you're about to say something wildly offensive and I have to explain why I never want to be in the same room as you again.”

Roman chuckled awkwardly, like he thought that statement might apply, and _oh brother, what was he about to –_

“I wanted. To talk to you.” Roman said slowly. “About. Uh, the gender thing?”

Virgil blinked, caught off guard for a moment. The anxiety rolodex quickly reshuffled itself in their brain, flipping to the section titled 'Dumb Shit Cis People Think It's Okay To Say,' subsection 'Please Don't Be About To Ask Me About My Junk.'

“What _about_ the gender thing?” they asked, in a tone which was only _slightly_ sharper than they were aiming for.

Roman recoiled a little, which Virgil hadn't been expecting. _Okay,_ _remain calm,_ _perhaps it's something reasonable._ _H_ _e is Patton's mate after all he can't be_ completely _ignorant –_

“Just, uh. The nonbinary thing? How does that…” Roman hesitated, probably because Virgil could feel a scowl already half-forming. “I mean, you don't have a gender, right?”

“Right,” Virgil agreed. “I identify as agender, or genderless. And yeah, that's a kind of nonbinary, for me at least – some other agender people might view it differently. And not all nonbinary people use they/them pronouns either, but I obviously do.”

Roman was nodding along with this, looking almost like he wanted to whip out a notepad and take notes. Something started to click inside of Virgil's brain – this conversation wasn't fitting the usual “confused cis person” script…

“So what exactly did you want to know?” Virgil asked again, a little softer this time.

Roman bit his lip, wrapping his arms around himself. Perhaps it was the cold – his jacket wasn't as thick as it could have been, and the October wind was biting – but to Virgil's eyes, it seemed more like comfort.

“Um,” he said, so soft Virgil could hardly hear. “So… how did you know?”

And that's the giveaway. Virgil couldn't have said why that was what made them realise – they'd never had the chance to be in Roman's place for this kind of conversation, not really. But something about the uncertainty and longing in Roman's voice, the way he seemed poised to flee, constantly awaiting rejection…

Virgil's mouth was suddenly dry. They felt ashamed of themselves, for judging Roman so quickly. The least they could do was answer …him?

“It started out as something so vague I hardly noticed,” they said. “Like an itch under my skin. I felt… wrong. Thought it was just teenage rebellion at first, that I'd grow out of it, but it got stronger and stronger. I was about fifteen when I knew I wasn't a boy. Didn't take long to realise 'girl' didn't fit either. But agender specifically… I didn't even hear the term until I was nineteen, twenty maybe? I did some searching online, found out what it meant, and… it just felt right. More right than anything else before, and anything I've found since.”

Virgil couldn't look Roman in the eye as they spoke. But when they were done, they turned, and were surprised to find Roman staring at them wide-eyed.

“I…” he began. “It's… like an itch, you say?”

“The kind that once you notice it, you realise you've been feeling it for years.” Virgil smiled quickly, and knocked their knee against Roman's. “Sound familiar?”

Roman looked like a rabbit in the headlights for a moment. Then, a slow nod.

“It comes and goes, though. When it isn't there, it feels like I imagined it all, and I…” Roman grimaced. “I want to be sure, before I say anything. I know that Patton and Logan would accept me, whoever I was, but – what if I'm wrong, and I have to tell them I changed my mind…?”

“You know that can be a thing, right? Identity changing over time, month to month or day to day?”

From the way Roman's eyes had grown as big as quarters, Virgil was guessing that Roman had not, in fact, known that.

Speaking of which…

“So, what pronouns do you want me to use for you?”

Roman honest-to-goodness _squeaked._

“Am I allowed to choose? Oh, I don't know where to begin!”

“Well, pick some and try them on for size?” Virgil suggested. “Unless he/him feels right today.”

Roman pulled a face.

“Could I try being a 'them'?” they asked slowly.

“I'm sat on a bench with Roman, and they look like they should have brought a warmer jacket… Good?”

Roman blinked at them.

“… Weird,” they said slowly. “But not a bad weird. And I think… less itchy.”

Virgil chuckled. Then, as Roman shivered again, they made a snap decision.

“You up for a walk?” they asked. “My apartment is about ten blocks away, but we could keep talking? I have some links that might help, for blogs and stuff. If you want them?”

Roman stared at them.

“I'd like that a lot,” they said. “Thank you, Virgil.”

Virgil smiled at them. For once, it actually came easy.

“What are friends for?”

***

Roman was delighted to see Virgil again, even though it had barely been two weeks since their last meeting. Virgil had been coming around far more often since helping her – _her, she, hers_ _elf_ , wasn't it the most beautiful sound in the world? – work through the teething troubles with her newly-identified genderfluidity.

It was nice to see them finally looking comfortable around Roman. After a year of frostiness-bordering-on-discomfort, Virgil seemed to finally be warming up to her, and it was truly a sight to behold. To see them snort with laughter at something she had said, or hear a sly comment made just to her – every time, it made Roman's heart glow with warmth.

Not that she had any hope that Virgil meant it in the way she dreamed they might. They had made their feelings on the subject of dating alphas very clear from their first ill-fated meeting. And while Virgil might be dazzlingly attractive – Roman hadn't even known that she could _feel_ this way about someone who wasn't a boy, but call that a resounding check – Roman was nevertheless happy to accept their unavailability, to let her fantasy of romance be nothing but a fantasy.

Even if she did forget to speak sometimes when Virgil smiled. Look, she was a simple alpha, you could only ask so much…

“Darling?” Logan nudged her gently, and murmured: “Daydreaming again?”

“I am highly skilled at the art,” Roman joked back. “Sorry, what were you saying?”

Patton cleared his throat.

“Sweetheart,” he said slowly. “Logan and I… got you a little something.” He shared a glance with Logan, before adding: “And since Virgil helped a bit, we wanted to give it to you when they were here too, if that's okay…?”

Virgil chuckled and rolled their eyes.

“Just hand it over before she spontaneously combusts with excitement.”

Roman squawked in offence. Of course she was happy to be receiving a surprise gift from her loves! What person wouldn't be delighted to accept a physical token of the love and care they all shared?

… Okay, maybe she shouldn't be doubly excited by her metamour-slash-friend-slash-crush's involvement, but Virgil had no way of knowing about those feelings, so it was Roman's problem.

As Logan handed over the gift, Roman tore off the wrapping paper eagerly, and found –

“Ooh, you got me jewellery?” Roman beamed. She had been eagerly working on expanding her wardrobe in a more feminine direction, and a necklace or bracelet from her pack sounded like a lovely addition.

“It's a little more than that…” Patton said, teasing, as Roman eased open the box.

Inside was a simple black cord bracelet decorated with a few large glass beads. Far more masculine than she had been envisioning, although it did seem to have… charms? Three leather tassels sat in the box, each with a clip that would allow it to be attached to the cord: one blue with a few strands painted silver, one magenta with gold, and a third green and copper.

Her audience was watching expectantly for her reaction. Roman frowned at it for a few seconds, trying to puzzle out what meaning it was supposed to hold, until Virgil quietly said:

“It's a pronoun bracelet.”

Roman blinked once, twice, turning the bracelet over in her hand. Logan started talking, in that slightly-too-quick way that meant he was worried she didn't like it:

“We hoped that this design would be suitable for you to wear regardless of how you wish to present, and then for those of us who are aware of your identity, you can use the tassels to indicate your preferred pronoun of the day. Obviously at the moment you are more likely to prefer the blue and pink tassels, but we wanted to allow you the option to expand in future should you ever desire to do so –”

“It's perfect,” Roman said, her eyes starting to well with tears. “It – I love it, so much, thank you, I never even would have thought to ask –”

She carefully put the bracelet aside before sweeping both her mates into a hug – awkward and damp and too tight but she didn't care one bit. She had been so worried about them accepting her identity, that they might be disappointed that she wasn't who they thought she was – but instead, here was concrete, physical proof that they were embracing her with open arms.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Roman peppered them both with kisses, making Patton giggle and Logan roll his eyes fondly.

“We're so proud of you for discovering something new about yourself, and we love you so much.” Patton said as Roman pulled back. “Don't doubt that for a second, okay missy?”

“I never did,” Roman lied.

Patton gave him a stern look, so she wasn't really fooling him, but they both knew what Roman meant: that this helped. That next time she did doubt, she would look at her bracelet, and remember.

Speaking of which –

“Put it on me, put it on me!” Roman held out her wrist, and Logan quickly fasted the cord, before holding up the pink charm.

“I assume this is still accurate, love?”

Roman nodded eagerly, and Logan slipped the tassel into place. Roman spun it around her wrist a couple of times, trying to get used to the look of wearing it. That was when she noticed the beads: one red, one sky-blue, and one a deep navy. Her favourite colour, and those of her mates.

Overwhelmed with emotion, Roman quickly caught Logan's face in her hands and kissed him. He barely had time to react before she was releasing him, and turning to Patton, who was smiling as Roman kissed him too. Roman's heart was aglow, popping with colours as bright as a firework.

Everything was perfect.

Then her eyes found Virgil, who was lurking in the corner, looking for all the world as though they wanted to turn invisible or slip away without being noticed. And well, that just wouldn't do.

“This was your idea, wasn't it?” she asked, walking over to them.

Virgil shrugged.

“I mean, yeah, I guess. I know someone who makes them so when Pat and L said they wanted to get you a coming-out present…”

“Thank you,” Roman said breathlessly. “Thank you _so much_ for making this happen, it's absolutely perfect, I could kiss you –”

Roman's brain caught up with her mouth about half a second too late, and promptly threw all verbal thrusters into 'reverse'.

“I mean – I wouldn't, ever, because I know you don't want me to, I just meant, you know, it's a figure of speech, I'm so sorry –”

But Virgil didn't look mad. They had that fond, teasing look on their face, one eyebrow raised, as they leaned forward in their seat.

“We may,” they said with a smirk, and Roman just had time to think _holy shit was that a_ _Frozen_ _reference,_ _be still my heart_ _–_

And then they kissed her. Quick and light, barely anything to it, but – a kiss. A kiss! Did that mean –?

Roman couldn't get the words out. Her thoughts had transcended language. She was now thinking primarily in terms of the sparkle-heart emoji.

“Was that okay?” Virgil asked quickly. “Sorry, if I misread –”

“No, no!” Roman was nodding vigorously. “I. Um. Again?”

“Uh. Yeah, okay –”

Their lips met again, a little more firmly this time, although still light and careful, as though any sudden movement might break the moment.

They pulled apart slowly, and Roman slowly became aware of a high-pitched squealing noise that _wasn't_ her own excitement. Patton was cooing at them in a pitch so high it could be used as an offensive weapon.

“Okay, so –” Virgil ducked their head, turning red. “Uh. Board games?”

“Be on my team?” Roman asked instantly.

“I mean, what are we playing? Cause I'm not going against Logan on Trivial Pursuit again –”

Virgil continued to joke as Roman stared at them in awe. The only sign they were affected at all was the blush still on their cheeks – and their hand, resting lightly on Roman's arm, never once moving.

And everything was normal again – or as normal as it could be, when Roman's heart was exploding in glitter and rainbows and other amazing, wonderful things – and nothing else needed to be said.

***

(A couple of hours later, Logan caught Roman alone in the kitchen.

“You should check the box,” he said quietly. “There was… something else we ordered. Just in case.”

Curiosity piqued, Roman slid the box out of her pocked and opened it up. There, hidden underneath the cardboard mount, was a fourth glass bead. Bright violet.

Roman stared at Logan for a second, a smile slowly crossing her face.

“Thanks,” she said softly. “I think that's going to come in handy some day.”)


End file.
